


Your Wettest Dreams

by omgbubblesomg



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Canon Compliant, Diego's dick-sucking abilities deserve their own tag apparently, Episode: s01e06 The Day That Wasn't, Hand Jobs, M/M, Sibling Incest, rope kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2020-01-20 16:17:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18528634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/omgbubblesomg/pseuds/omgbubblesomg
Summary: Usually he’s quite enticing when he wants to be but being tied up has been historically disastrous for his flirting attempts. Then again, maybe Diego’s into that because instead of walking away he sighs deeply, drops to his knees between Klaus’s legs, and wraps a hand around his cock.Oh, hello.“I… honestly didn’t think that would work,” Klaus admits.





	Your Wettest Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic in this fandom, please be nice!

“Diego, please!”

“Nope.”

“I need to pee _ee!”_

“Shoulda thought of that before asking me to tie you to a chair.” He yanks hard at the rope. Harder than strictly necessary.

“Hey!”

“Oops.”

“Look, maybe this isn’t such a good idea anyway. Let me up and we can just forget this, okay?”

“Still nope.”

“Die- _gooo!”_

Diego gives him one of those shit-eating grins that he’s perfected and tightens the rope again. It burns across his chest and around his wrists and thighs.

“His knots have gotten better,” Ben says appreciatively.

“Keep your rope kinks to yourself, okay?”

Diego looks up. “Huh? Oh, it’s like that, is it.” He follows the line of Klaus’s sight and winks in Ben’s general direction.

“Ugh,” Klaus interrupts. “I hope you have a piss kink too because all your _wettest_ dreams are about to come true.”

Diego gives a long-suffering sigh and picks up a nearby bucket. He props it in front of Klaus’s chair. “Happy?”

“How am I supposed to use that?” Klaus wriggles his restrained hands to make his point.

Diego’s eye roll is the king of all eye rolls. If eye rolls could kill, then Klaus would be surrounded by the ghosts of everyone in a mile radius. Diego leans over him, but instead of untying him he reaches down and starts yanking at his zipper.

“Woah, tiger! At least buy me dinner firs— _Hey!”_

Diego slips a hand into his opened pants and digs his cock out, none too gently. After a moment he laughs. “Oh, it’s _Ben_ with the rope kink, is it?”

“I happen to be a man of many tastes,” Klaus says haughtily. Because of course he’s chubbed up. Diego’s hot, after all. And he actually _is_ good with knots. Klaus may be dumb, but he’s not stupid. And he certainly isn’t blind.

“Whatever, just hurry up so I can go.” Diego angles Klaus’s dick down into the waiting bucket.

And then waits.

And waits.

And… waits…

“Think of something else,” Ben offers helpfully, at the exact same time that Diego goes, “Performance anxiety, huh?”

“Fuck off,” Klaus tells them both. Then, “Maybe you should close your eyes.”

Diego gives him a look that clearly says, _I am not about to close my eyes while holding your dick._ Which of course doesn’t help matters.

“This is just embarrassing,” Ben mutters.

“Are you getting turned on by this?” Diego asks, incredulous. He pushes Klaus’s dick down as though he can force it to go soft through sheer strength. Klaus, of course, gets harder.

“Maybe you should look away.”

“Oh, for God’s…” Diego props the bucket awkwardly between Klaus’s calves and then stands up, turning around to give Klaus some privacy. “I thought you would have gotten used to being watched by now,” he says over his shoulder.

“I don’t _watch,”_ Ben scoffs.

“It’s okay if you do,” Klaus says considerately. “I know I’m a fine piece of—”

“Klaus!”

“Okay, okay, hurrying.”

He thinks of waterfalls and rain down windows and bubbling, babbling brooks. Diego shifts restlessly in front of him and Klaus is immediately side-tracked by the splendid view so thoughtfully provided.

“You look good in leather,” he notes. Diego’s leather-clad buttocks visibly clench and, yep, okay, Klaus could get used to this.

“Are you done yet? Can I turn around?”

“Probably. I think you standing over there is having the opposite effect of what we’re trying to achieve.”

Diego turns around looking like he’s just sucked a lemon. He glances down at Klaus’s dick and literally facepalms.

“You’re harder,” he says.

“So it would seem.”

“Okay, pee rights rescinded. I’m leaving now.” He grabs the bucket and puts it back on the floor.

“No! Please don’t!”

“Well, do you have any other ideas?”

Klaus gives him his sauciest wink. “I might have one or two,” he says, leaving exactly zero of his thoughts to the imagination.

“That’s your brother,” Ben reminds him. But Klaus has never been very interested in societal norms. If anything, his dick gets even harder. He’s working himself up to a very nice erection. And he can think of one thing that he wants against it even more than his own hand.

He gestures with his head for Diego to come closer. Usually he’s actually quite enticing when he wants to be but being tied up has been historically disastrous for his flirting attempts. Then again, maybe Diego’s into that because instead of walking away he sighs deeply, drops to his knees between Klaus’s legs, and wraps a hand around his cock.

_Oh, hello._

“I… honestly didn’t think that would work,” he admits.

“I’m not convinced you think at all, most of the time.”

Klaus mentally concedes the point. And then he rolls his head back on his shoulders when Diego squeezes his hand. He’s got callouses that have no right feeling that good on the dangly bits. And he _certainly_ shouldn’t be this good at hand-jobs. It’s dry and rough and quite possibly perfect. Exactly how Klaus likes it. Diego thumbs the head of his dick and Klaus’s whole body clenches.

 _“Unnnh,”_ he groans. Diego shoves his shirt up and tucks it into one of the ropes to keep it out of the way. Klaus can see the shudder of his stomach as Diego forms a loose fist and begins to jerk him, thumb rubbing insistently on the underside.

“Where did you learn to do that?” he gasps. He tries to shove his hips up to meet Diego’s hand but he’s held _infuriatingly_ short.

“I have one of these myself, you know,” Diego answers dryly. He glances at his watch and keeps pumping one-handed. He could be washing the dishes for all the attention he’s paying. And _why is that such a turn-on?_

“Oh, oh, God, and you… _Christ on a cracker…_ And you’re not even slightly put off by the fact that we’re brothers?”

Diego shrugs, still looking at his watch. “Are you?”

“No, but I’m the one with all the childhood trauma and I hang out with ghosts in my spare time. You should be— _oh hell, yes like that_ —you should be _ashamed_ of yourself, young man.”

“Whatever, I don’t have time for this.” And then he looks critically down at Klaus’s cock, opens his mouth, and sucks it down with about as much hesitance as a bull in front of a red flag. His tongue finds Klaus’s slit like it’s a homing beacon. Klaus makes a noise that he’ll find time to be embarrassed about later, because _holy hecking penis sucking, batman_. He’s no stranger to blow jobs but apparently _neither is Diego._

“H-how,” he stutters. “When? I don’t… Wha—?”

Diego pulls off to breathe, which is actually comforting because Klaus had begun to believe that this was a super-power, too.

“Hurry up,” he orders, and his voice is _exactly the same._ Like he hasn’t had a dick down his throat. Like he hasn’t had _Klaus’s_ dick down his throat.

“I have so many questions,” Klaus pants.

Diego mouths at the head of him, then swallows him back down, twisting his hand around the root of Klaus’s dick like a professional. His free hand comes up to cradle Klaus’s balls and in a fair world Klaus would last at least another minute so he could really enjoy the sight, but this world is many things, and fair isn’t one of them. He comes like a rocket. Diego lazily pulls back and jerks him through it, looking almost bored. He swallows whatever’s in his mouth and then he wipes his hand on Klaus’s pants and picks up the bucket, holding it expectantly.

Klaus looks down at it, then back at Diego.

“Huh,” he says. “I don’t need to go anymore.”

“Oh for the love of…” Diego drops the bucket where he’s standing, spins on his heel, and stalks right out of the room.

“Wait!” Klaus calls. “Wait!” Diego doesn’t wait. Klaus huffs. “At least tell me if it was it good for you?” The sound of the front door slamming is answer enough.

“It’s lucky I’m already dead,” Ben says, “or I would probably have to kill myself out of sheer indignity.”

“That’s fair,” Klaus allows. He looks down at his dick; still out, and not entirely all the way soft. It’s a little wet from Diego’s mouth.

He wonders if he’ll be allowed to repay the favour.

Well… weirder things have happened to him before.

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the bad things happen bingo. Originally posted on tumblr [here!](https://omgbubblesomg.tumblr.com/post/183634299993/your-wettest-dreams-square-filled-tied-to-a-chair)
> 
>  
> 
> And as always, I have some recommendations. If you like Diego helping Klaus stay sober, you might like the porn extravaganza [loosen up](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17937887) by somethingradiates. And if you like Diego taking control you'll love [money](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18070745) by plingo_kat or [Shiny and New](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18159074) by punk-rock_yuppie!
> 
>  
> 
> If you want more Umbrella Academy please hit the kudos button or leave me a comment to convince me to write more ;)


End file.
